If you want to fight against the abuse of children …
Watch Your Language

by Andrew Vachss
Originally published in Parade, June 5, 2005

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The softening of language—"forbidden love" for the sexual exploitation of a student—shapes our perception of hateful criminal acts.

Years ago, I participated in the rescue of a child from bondage. Destiny (not her real name) was 13. She had been repeatedly raped by a pair of predators to "educate" her. Then, along with several other young girls, she was forced to sell herself to strangers. Each day, she woke to the threat of disfiguring brutality if she failed to bring in sufficient money that night. Later, it was reported that "pimps" had been arrested, and "a number of child prostitutes were taken into custody."

What was wrong with calling Destiny a "child prostitute"? After all, she was a child, and she was engaged in prostitution. First, the word itself implies a judgment of character. Don't we call people who sell out their moral convictions in exchange for personal gain "whores"? More important, prostitution implies a willing exchange. Ultimately, the term "child prostitution" implies that little children are "seductive," that they "volunteer" to have sex with adults in exchange for cash (which, of course, the children never see).

The difference between calling Destiny a "child prostitute" and a "prostituted child" is not purely semantic. It is more than the difference between a hard truth and a pernicious lie. It not only injures the victims; it actively gives aid and comfort to the enemy. By allowing the term "child prostitution" to gain a foothold in our language, we lose ground that can never be recovered. Look at the following examples:

• A judge spares a predatory pedophile a long prison sentence on the grounds that "it takes two to tango." Another grants work-release to a sex offender, declaring that the 5-year-old victim was "unusually promiscuous."

• A teacher is arrested for sexual intercourse with a minor student in her class. The newspapers describe the conduct as "a forbidden love affair."

• A young actor, in an interview given before his drug-overdose death, describes how he "lost his virginity" when he was 3 or 4 years old.

How have such grotesque distortions taken control of our language? To answer that question, we must first ask another: Who profits? Who benefits from pervasive cultural language that trivializes violence against children?

Pedophiles are very familiar with the power of language. They would have us believe that child pornography is a free-speech issue. They know that if they succeed in placing "child prostitution" anywhere on the continuum of voluntary sexual activity, they will have established a beachhead from which to launch future assaults.

We must understand that such language is no accident—it is the deliberate product of cultural lobbyists. There is a carefully orchestrated campaign to warp public perception, a perception that affects everything from newspaper coverage to legislation and even jury verdicts.

If they can get us to accept that children consent to sex for money, it will be easier to sell the idea that they can consent to sex for "love." But an adult male who sexually abuses little boys is no more "homosexual" than one who victimizes little girls is "heterosexual." They are both predatory pedophiles. There is no such thing as a child prostitute; there are only prostituted children.

When we use terms such as "lose's one's virginity" in referring to adult sex acts with children instead of calling it "rape," or when we say that teachers "have affairs" with their pupils instead of saying that the teachers sexually exploit them, the only beneficiaries are the predators who target children.

This is not about political correctness. It is about telling the truth. In any culture, language is the undercurrent that drives the river of public perception. That undercurrent has been polluted for too long. If we really want to protect our children, it's time to watch our language.

© 2005 Andrew Vachss. All rights reserved.

PARADE Contributing Editor Andrew Vachss is an author and attorney whose only clients are children. His novel "Two Trains Running" will be published on June 14 by Pantheon. Visit www.vachss.com to learn more.

WHAT WORDS REALLY SAY

When it comes to child abuse, the language we use can distort the reality of the crime and create a roadblock to justice. The next time you hear a news report, keep in mind what the following terms actually mean … and the consequences of the conduct described.

PEDOPHILE
An individual with intense, recurrent sexually arousing fantasies and urges toward prepubescent children. Those who decide to act on such feelings can be termed "predatory pedophiles." The predatory pedophile is as dangerous as cancer and as camouflaged in approach. His presence becomes known only by the horrendous damage left in his wake. Predatory pedophiles most often operate inside a child's "circle of trust." He (or she) may be a teacher, a doctor, a scout leader, a police officer, an athletic coach, a religious counselor or a child-care professional. They are protected not only by our ignorance of their presence but also by our unwillingness to confront the truth.

FONDLING
Nonpenetrative sexual misconduct with a child, often resulting in severe emotional damage to the victim.

MOLESTATION
Sexual assault of a child, often resulting in both physical and emotional damage.

NONVIOLENT INCEST
The rape by extortion of a child by a family member, creating a climate of oppression and fear in the child's daily life that inevitably results in profound long-term damage.

INTERGENERATIONAL LOVE
The sexual exploitation of a child under the guise of a consensual relationship. This pedophiles' perversion of the word "love" is routinely promoted in all their literature as "harmless" or even "beneficial" to the victim.

CHILD PROSTITUTE
A child, often held captive against his or her will, who is physically and/or emotionally coerced into performing sex acts with adults for the profit of others.

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Andrew Vachss has been writing for Parade since 1985. In response to endless requests, we have collected all his past Parade articles here.